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Chinese style remarriage
Time:2025-09-01 Views:1354
Cracking the Chinese style of remarriage
When divorce becomes the main plot of family ethics dramas, a recent hit TV series' Haitang Still 'takes the opposite approach, selling' remarriage 'as a selling point to the audience. As a result, people have emerged from the ongoing trend of "Chinese style divorce" and are now facing another increasingly common social phenomenon - "Chinese style remarriage".
On November 3rd, Xinhua News Agency reported from Hefei that the remarriage rate of divorced couples in Hefei has been on the rise since 2004. From January to September this year alone, there were 63 remarriages in Luyang District of Hefei, which is about three times that of last year and shows a significant upward trend. It is interesting that on the same day, another report from Xinhua News Agency pointed out that He Huabiao, a researcher at the China Social Survey Institute, opened a "remarriage hotline" in Shenzhen, the city with the highest divorce rate in China. Since its opening in September, it has not been able to form a single divorced couple.
These two reports may seem contradictory, but they actually convey the same message to us: in today's high divorce rate, remarriage has begun to attract people's attention. The fact is that according to the statistics released by the Civil Affairs Bureau of Xuhui District, Shanghai recently, the rate of remarriage has increased by nearly 30% since October last year.
Phenomenon 1: After divorce, suddenly looking back, 'Haitang still exists'
The male and female protagonists of "Haitang Still" chose to break up calmly because they had lived in a stagnant environment for a long time and lacked passion in their lives. But after each of them had searched for passion, they still chose to return to their original families. This is not a theatrical fantasy, but rather another understanding of life and marriage.
The 14 year marriage between the protagonist Yuan Rong and her husband Tian Jian has ended. They usually get along very indifferently, everything seems to be pushed forward by the inertia of life, and the distance between the two is close at hand, but the spiritual distance is far away.
They started a new life, on two separate tracks, completely unaware of each other's actions. Sometimes through their daughter, when they hear news from each other or meet for the sake of their child, the two of them become polite and strangers, without even greeting each other.
Finally, one day, Yuan Rong and Tian Jian discovered that their "freedom" was quite boring, and they felt empty. In fact, people around us have their own established lives, or rather, their own life trajectories. When the song ends and people disperse, behind the hustle and bustle, everyone has a 'home', and that home is behind the brilliant lights, peaceful and tranquil. And they have no 'home', they all feel lonely and want to find a new partner, but how difficult it is. They felt a deep sense of loss. This sense of loss reappears in various aspects of life, including work, daily life, and interactions with those around us.
Tian Jian had a car accident, so Yuan Rong had to go to the hospital to take care of him. In this encounter, they rediscovered each other. When Yuan Rong met her tenth suitor, she unexpectedly discovered that the person standing in front of her was actually Tian Jian, whom she had been eagerly anticipating in her heart.
As Peng Sanyuan, the screenwriter of the TV series, said at the news conference of the play, for most Chinese people, once they have entered into the actual marriage, few people will continue to live in the romantic life, and life will be left with bread and butter, and love will become dull. As a result, neglect between husband and wife inevitably occurs, and the foundation of marriage begins to shake.
But divorce cannot solve the problem. A new relationship faces the same challenge, which is: can love still exist when life is as plain as water? So some divorced couples re-examine their previous marriages and find that their original life is still the most suitable for them.
According to statistics from the Shanghai Academy of Social Sciences, six months after divorce often becomes a high-risk period for remarriage, with 40% of divorced individuals remarrying due to rekindling their old relationship with their former spouse.
Analysis:
The reporter interviewed Fang Gang, a PhD in sociology from Beijing Forestry University, about the popular drama. He evaluated remarriage as follows: "Rebirth is usually based on the understanding that 'divorce is a mistake'. However, if both parties involved in remarriage are not mentally prepared, remarriage is likely to become a mistake again
After divorce, when the desired new life cannot be found, it is easy to develop a psychological attachment to the past marriage. But if the longing persists, don't rush back to your past marriage, because with fantasies of another life, you can't be happy and responsible in this life, and you need to give yourself some time to work hard and try.
Dr. Fang Gang believes that remarriage requires more energy, patience, and love to manage than first marriage, so it is important to be prepared for investment before remarriage. Firstly, you should make an objective evaluation of yourself and your spouse. If your evaluation of yourself is much higher than that of your former spouse, then it will still be difficult to reconcile with them smoothly; Secondly, it is important to consider the experiences and changes of oneself and one's former spouse after divorce. The person who enters into marriage with you again not only preserves all the things you did not like in the past, but also is no longer the same person as before. During the period after the divorce, he may have experienced many things, including changes in heterosexual, gender, and family values.
In addition, Dr. Fang Gang also stated that remarriage should be based on recognition and respect for the value of past marriages, rather than considerations for children, loneliness, economic issues, or other practical reasons. Otherwise, the marriage after remarriage will still be in turmoil.
Phenomenon 2: Rebirth, impulsive divorce
Recently, the reporter noticed a news with high media coverage and originally published in the Beijing Morning Post: there was a "divorce history" that could be considered the "shortest" in Beijing at the marriage registration office in Xicheng District. On a certain afternoon, a man and a woman came to handle the procedures for remarriage. When the staff checked the computer records, they found that the two had only divorced in the morning of the same day. They suggested that they "come back slowly", but the seemingly reconciled "young couple" were unwilling to wait. The registrar explained, "If I handle the procedures for you two today, the dates on both the divorce certificate and the marriage certificate will be the same day. In the future, with this certificate, can you two clearly state your marital status
Indeed, divorce due to impulse is one of the reasons for remarriage. In a report on the remarriage situation in Hefei City, Meng Shouping, director of the Luyang District Marriage Registration Office, who was interviewed, said that many remarriage couples did not divorce because of emotional breakdown, but because they argued over trivial matters and made the decision to divorce impulsively. After a period of separation, I remembered the other person's kindness and chose to "break through the mirror and reunite".
On November 7th, there was a report in the Shenzhen Business Daily that Ms. Wang is 32 years old and Mr. Liu is 45 years old in Shenzhen, both of whom have experienced divorce. After Valentine's Day on February 14th this year, Ms. Wang and Mr. Liu registered their marriage at the Marriage Registration Office of the Civil Affairs Bureau in Luohu District, Shenzhen. On March 23rd, the newlyweds walked into the marriage registration office again, but this time they came to handle their divorce. On March 26th, less than a week after their divorce, Ms. Wang and Mr. Liu came to the marriage registration department for the third time with their newly taken wedding photos, household registration books, and ID cards. This time, they came to repair this marriage and went through the procedures for remarriage on the spot. In the divorce agreement between the middle-aged couple, it is either stated that they have a strained relationship or that they do not have enough understanding. Afterwards, the two continued to hover between divorce and marriage, totaling up to 6 times.
Analysis:
In order to verify the phenomenon of impulsive divorce and remarriage, the reporter dialed the phone number of Director Jiang at the Xicheng District Marriage Registration Office. She said that due to the new Marriage Registration Regulations, it is not necessary to present a letter of introduction from the employer when getting married or divorced. Therefore, the phenomenon of impulsive and hasty divorce and hasty remarriage has indeed increased, but this is still an extremely rare phenomenon.
In addition, Director Jiang also stated that some people divorced at that time due to objective reasons other than emotional factors, such as housing problems, conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, or divorce for a certain purpose. After the relocation, the previous conflicts or problems were resolved, and the mentality of both parties changed, which also prompted them to remarry. [page]
Phenomenon 3: Helpless to hold hands again for the sake of the child
In addition to emotional factors, 'for the sake of the child' has also become an important factor for the second collaboration. The Shanghai Academy of Social Sciences conducted a survey on 200 remarried couples. It was found that 70% of remarried couples consider children more. The final choice of the male and female protagonists to hold hands again in 'Haitang Still' is also due to the factor of children.
In October, Liaoning Qianshan Evening News reported that a 17-year-old boy named Xiao Bo (pseudonym) from Jiewen Town, Haicheng City, Liaoning Province attempted suicide twice in order to reconcile his divorced parents, and almost lost his life the second time.
Xiao Bo's father Jiang Lishan often beat his wife Sun Xiuqin shortly after their marriage. When Xiao Bo was 7 years old, Sun Xiuqin and Jiang Lishan went through the divorce procedures. Jiang obtained custody of Xiao Bo, while Sun Xiuqin went alone to another city. Every time Xiaobo sees his mother, he begs her to come home. Over time, Sun Xiuqin discovered that her son, who loved to love and laugh, had changed and often daydreamed alone. Once, after returning home from Sun Xiuqin, Xiaobo drank pesticide and quickly escaped danger due to timely rescue efforts.
Later, Sun Xiuqin was introduced to live a peaceful life with an honest and kind man, while Jiang Lishan lived a listless life. In June of this year, Xiao Bo, who was working outside, came home and saw his father's desolate living conditions. He thought to himself, "Mom was beaten by Dad and left sadly, Dad lost confidence in life, and I didn't have the ability to save this family..." Sad, he once again took poison. 72 hours later, he was rescued and when he opened his eyes, he saw his parents tearfully swearing in front of him, "I will remarry soon, and the family will never be separated again." Now, Xiaobo recalls what happened back then and says that he should not have taken poison. His parents have the right to pursue happiness, and he is almost an adult. He really shouldn't have been caught up in this issue.
Examples of remarriage due to children are not uncommon. The Time Business Daily reported on something that happened not long ago.
Tang Yuxiang and Guo Qingbin, a couple from Fushun, divorced due to emotional issues and neglected their son Xiaoming (pseudonym), which led Xiaoming to commit a crime and was sentenced to 6 years in prison. Unfortunately, Xiaoming suffered from leukemia during his imprisonment, and doctors predicted that he would not live for more than six months.
Faced with a life that is about to end, parents whose relationship has already broken down have to come back together and reconcile their marriage without any foundation. Tang Yuxiang explained her marriage as follows: "After my husband and I got married, our personalities didn't get along. I felt that his heart wasn't at home, and he didn't like anything. He always smashed things and hit me. I couldn't take it anymore, so I filed for divorce. I took care of the children myself, but I only took care of them and didn't manage them properly. When my child got sick, I was happy to see him and his father together. I kept saying, 'Home is better, it's great to be home!'
Analysis:
According to incomplete statistics from the women's rights department, there may be tens of millions of single parent children nationwide, and the number is increasing by 50-600000 every year. Experts engaged in children's psychological education have found through investigation that divorced families have a significant impact on children's psychological development during their growth period, with children exhibiting more introverted, suspicious, sensitive, and insecure personality tendencies. During adolescence, boys tend to exhibit violence and indulgence, while girls tend to show a tendency to engage in opposite sex emotions too early and become more addicted.
Ms. Gao, the host of Beijing's first remarriage hotline, is a legal worker who opened the hotline mainly to help children struggling in the midst of their parents' divorce. Ms. Gao believes that helping a child by a couple is equivalent to saving a power table. He Huabiao, the founder of the Shenzhen "remarriage hotline" and a researcher at the China Social Survey Institute, once said in an interview with the Yangcheng Evening News that the "remarriage hotline" is not mainly for matching divorced couples, but for providing a good growth environment for children from single parent families.
Phenomenon 4: "Fake Divorce" and Difficulty in Getting Married Again
More and more people are getting fake divorces, "Lin Yanhong, director of the Marriage Registration Office of Dongcheng District Civil Affairs Bureau in Beijing, roughly estimated that the proportion of" fake divorces "may reach or even exceed 20% of the total number of divorces, including examples of remarriage after divorce for the purpose of housing, subsistence allowances, and going abroad. Many people think that divorcing and then remarrying has many benefits, but they do not consider that the consequences of doing so may be very serious. Because marriage loses legal protection, it's like playing with fire and setting oneself on fire.
Some people take advantage of the simplified divorce procedures to cheat out the "subsistence allowance", but then pretend to be genuine and lose their marriage. The reporter recently learned from a staff member of the subsistence allowance office in Fushuijing Street, Xicheng District, Beijing that among the 30 subsistence allowance households in the street, 20 couples received subsistence allowance after divorce but still live together.
According to the Nanjing Morning Post, Ms. Wu has no job, so she receives a monthly subsistence allowance of about 200 yuan. According to regulations, her husband, who also has no job, cannot apply again as she is receiving subsistence allowance. So, Ms. Wu and her husband plan to obtain another subsistence allowance through divorce. Although both parties have "divorced", they can still continue to live like husband and wife with double subsistence allowances. Unexpectedly, a few months after the divorce, Ms. Wu felt that her husband "wanted to kick her out several times". After talking to her husband several times, she still couldn't salvage the hope of "remarriage", so she was heartbroken and prepared to jump from the 6th floor of the community where her in laws lived to show her husband.
According to the Huashang Daily, Fan Xin and her husband Zhao Shi had both been divorced before they met, and Zhao had two children. In July 2003, Fan Xin became pregnant, and relevant departments in Luonan County punished Zhao for violating family planning regulations. In order to preserve their family property and avoid family planning, the two of them agreed to temporarily divorce and remarry after the birth of their child. In order to ensure her loyalty, Zhao also wrote a "guarantee letter" for her.
Unexpectedly, after the divorce, Fan Xin had a miscarriage. Zhao argued with Fan multiple times, citing that she had not given birth to a child, and the situation escalated. Later, Zhao Shi replaced the door lock of her home while she was out, turned her away, and claimed that both parties were already divorced, denying the existence of the divorce "guarantee letter" from the beginning. Fan Xin sued Zhao Shi in court.
And a recent report by Guilong News Network is also very typical. Mr. Lai and his wife Fan from Guangxi plan to settle abroad due to business failure. The two agreed to divorce first, and the woman would find a foreigner to marry and go abroad. After obtaining permanent residency abroad, they would divorce the foreigner and then remarry. In June 2000, his wife Fan found an Englishman on the Internet and married quickly. In June 2001, she got a British residence visa. Mr. Lai requested his wife to sign a remarriage agreement. Wife Fan solemnly wrote a letter of guarantee to her husband Mr. Lai, promising that their temporary divorce was for the purpose of going abroad, and once the time was ripe for them to settle abroad, they could remarry.
Unexpectedly, two years later, when Mr. Lai thought that the time for their remarriage was not far away and proposed to Fan, who was far away in London, England, to remarry, his ex-wife Fan clearly stated to Mr. Lai that there was no hope of a remarriage, citing that a "remarriage guarantee" had no legal effect.
Analysis:
It seems that when many people choose a "fake divorce", they will assume that they are safe and demand a "remarriage guarantee" from the other party.
Lawyer Cai Congyun from Beijing Shengzhi Law Firm stated in an interview with reporters that 'pretending to be true' can only lead to consequences at one's own risk. This kind of 'remarriage guarantee' cannot be relied upon. Regardless of the purpose of the divorce procedure, it has legal effect. Before divorce, although some people may sign similar agreements, these agreements are not legally protected and are illegal. Marriage and divorce are legal matters that cannot be agreed upon, and Chinese law does not recognize such agreements.
Phenomenon 5: Unregistered remarriage, not called remarriage
Getting married again is not simply two people starting a new life together. Firstly, remarriage should be registered with the national civil affairs department in order to be protected by law; Secondly, like getting married, remarriage should involve clear agreements on property, housing, and other issues in advance. Only in this way can unpleasant events be avoided.
Just this week, the Jinghua Times published a report titled "Three in three remarriage: couples unable to divorce". The woman who requested a divorce married the man in 1981, and six years later, they divorced due to emotional discord. In April 1989, the two parties remarried and divorced again five years later. In April 1997, the two parties reconciled and began living together again, but did not go to the marriage registration office to complete the procedures for remarriage. This year, the woman once again filed for "divorce" and sued in court, demanding the division of common property. Recently, the Chaoyang Court ruled that both parties lacked the legal requirements for the establishment of a marriage, and therefore rejected the woman's request for "divorce" to divide joint property on the grounds that the "remarriage" was not registered and the legal marital relationship could not be confirmed. [page]
Coincidentally, the Nanjing Daily also reported a similar case recently. Zhou Xia and her husband Wang Bao have applied for a divorce agreement, but Zhou Xia still cohabits with her ex husband because she is worried about her daughter. After cohabiting for a period of time, Zhou Xia proposed to her ex husband to arrange for a remarriage. But my ex husband said that since we live together, it doesn't matter whether we go through the procedures or not.
At the beginning of this year, her ex husband repeatedly urged Zhou Xia to move out. Later, a lawsuit was filed against Zhou Xia, demanding that the court order her to move out quickly.
Recently, the Qixia District Court in Nanjing officially held a court hearing to hear this case. Five minutes before leaving the courtroom, Zhou Xia's ex husband came to the court holding a middle-aged woman's arm. He then admitted to Zhou Xia that he had married his current wife in March this year and hoped that she would face reality and take the initiative to move out.
Zhou Xia believes that although she agreed to divorce her husband, her relationship has not changed and she has been living with her ex husband, which is already a de facto marriage. My ex husband is looking for a new partner regardless of their marital relationship, and I feel sorry for myself. She believes that the house she is currently living in is the joint property of herself and her ex husband, and should be shared equally. She should not be evicted. And the court did not make a verdict on this in court.
Analysis:
Lawyer Cai Congyun from Beijing Shengzhi Law Firm believes that legally speaking, remarriage is not a restoration of the original marriage status, nor a negation of divorce, but the beginning of a new life and new legal relationships. Therefore, it is necessary to prevent situations where rights and obligations (child custody), debt and credit (property rights) relationships are fully mixed up through remarriage, which is unfavorable to the weak and leads to further division.
Lawyer Cai once represented a case of remarriage and divorce. After divorce, the man did not want to fulfill the agreement to divide the enterprise and pay funds, and instead racked his brains to seek remarriage. After remarriage, due to the comprehensive confusion of the rights and obligations of the couple, as well as the rights and debts, the original divorce agreement became invalid in essence, and the woman had to go through the pain again from the starting point of the original divorce.
Of course, it is best to sign an agreement with the other party during remarriage, especially if there is a large amount of wealth or income. The key point of the agreement is to protect the personal rights, property rights, and labor rights of the weak, including the rights of child custody, dependent rights, and income distribution rights; To restrain the infringement behavior of the strong and prevent the recurrence of solid state; For those who have operating assets but do not participate in the operation, it is best to implement a spousal property contract and require the strong party to fulfill the obligation of publicizing in business activities to protect the property interests of the weak party. It is also best to agree on matters that may cause disputes in advance to prevent them from happening.
Related links
Conjugation is a legal act in which divorced men and women voluntarily restore their marital relationship, go to the marriage registration office to complete registration procedures, and re-establish their marital relationship.
Marriage remarriage is also a form of marriage, and as a legal act, its occurrence and elimination must go through legal procedures. Article 28 of the Marriage Law stipulates: "If both parties voluntarily restore their marital relationship after divorce, they shall register for remarriage at the marriage registration authority
According to Article 8 of the Marriage Law Registration Measures, both parties must personally apply for remarriage at the marriage registration authority in the place where one party's household registration is located. They must also provide a divorce certificate or court judgment (or mediation agreement). After examination and meeting the statutory conditions, the marriage registration authority will issue a "Marriage Certificate" and revoke the "Divorce Certificate" or divorce legal documents. In this way, the legal marital relationship is restored and protected by the law Sichuan Faneng Law Firm is dedicated to serving you.