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Should couples born in the 1980s let go OR remarry after divorce？
Time:2025-08-28 Views:1077
First, let me give a brief introduction. My wife and I were both born in 1980. We are only children. We started dating in high school and we broke up in the middle. Later, we got back together. Both of our family backgrounds are decent, with no family burdens. We both have decent jobs that are not too good and own houses. Basically, we don't have to worry about money!
She is a beautiful, cheerful, clingy, spoiled and sweet-tongued girl. As for me, I'm just an ordinary man. I have a bit of humor. My appearance is neither handsome nor ugly. I smoke and have a little drink.
In my eyes, although our conditions were not the best, they were still much better than many others. Logically speaking, I think we should have been very happy, but we got divorced! Now let's share our story and also offer some insights to our peers.
I. Abortion
Let me start with a little episode.
We got married at the age of 25. My parents gave me a house. The money for the decoration and hosting of the banquet was all paid for by both sets of parents.
Just one or two months before her marriage, she became pregnant but insisted on having an abortion, not wanting others to say she got married because of the pregnancy. My parents also tried to persuade her, but she still insisted and didn't want her parents to know. Later, I still accompanied her to have an abortion.
Ii. Kitchen Crisis
Two months later, we smoothly entered the institution of marriage. Before getting married, we agreed that since I got off work early, I would go grocery shopping and cook for dinner that evening, while she would be responsible for washing the dishes. The household cleaning would be done by whoever had time. At that time, we were very close. Every day at work, we had to send text messages and make phone calls non-stop, as if we had just started dating. I often turn down social engagements to accompany her. She doesn't like me drinking alcohol, so I basically refrain from drinking at all. But I also got drunk at the company's annual meeting, and she was so angry that she didn't talk to me for two days.
Three months passed like this. One day, she told me that she was pregnant! Both of our parents and I were very happy. Whenever my mother had free time, she would stew some tonics for her. However, due to the abortion before marriage, the child was still... before the third month of pregnancy. Everyone is very sad.
After being discharged from the hospital, the doctor asked her to rest at home for two weeks. My mother just asked her to go back to my parents' home so that she could take care of her. But she thought there was a dog at home, so she refused to accept my mom, saying that it was fine to stay at home alone.
I have to go to work, and I know she can't cook at all and is not very good at taking care of herself. So I asked my mom to work hard to look after her. So during these two weeks, my mother would come to our home every day with the tonics she had stewed early in the morning and the vegetables she had bought. She would also cook lunch, set it up and wake her up to eat. After she finished eating, she would let her go to bed and continue to rest, and then wash the dishes.
One day, I got home two hours earlier. As soon as I opened the door, I saw my mother squinting and resting on the sofa in the hall, while she was playing very loud music on the computer in the study and sleeping in her bedroom. I immediately scolded her at that time.
The next day was the weekend. In the morning, she went to wash up and suddenly found that the sieve in the kitchen sink was broken. She complained that it was my mother who had broken it. I just told her, "If it's broken, it's broken. I'll just go out and buy a new one later." However, she began to lose her temper and kept nagging endlessly. I said, "My mom is also taking care of you." She, on the contrary, said to me, "I didn't ask your mom to take care of me. I said I could handle it on my own." This really got on my nerves. Right away, I retorted, "Yes, my mom did it on purpose to break the things in our house. What's wrong? The decoration, furniture and appliances in this house were all paid for by my mom. If she wants to break something, she can." At that time, I was extremely angry. I slapped her in the face and even punched the door of the wardrobe to pieces...
After this incident, although we made up, there was still a rift.
Iii. Drinking Alcohol
A year later, she became pregnant again. This time we were all very cautious and took care of her like an emperor from the very first month. She also asked for leave from her workplace. During that period, she was almost constantly served by someone around the clock.
Three months have passed, and we all heaved a sigh of relief. When she was over four months pregnant, one day, I had made an appointment with a good friend for dinner that night. Since the restaurant was only a five-minute walk from my home, she went with me too. During the meal, I had some beer with my friends. I usually don't smoke in front of her, but that night my classmate smoked. Besides, the restaurant was poorly ventilated to begin with, so I let her go home first.
When she left, there was nothing serious. But when I got back at around 10 o 'clock and walked downstairs, I found her standing alone by the roadside, even with her luggage packed... I went over to ask what was going on? She said that I was drinking and smoking tonight, and even told her to go home alone and ignore her, going back to her parents' home.
I explained that I only drink alcohol one or two times a year, and that's just a little beer. So I picked up her luggage and headed home, but she held me back and insisted on going back to her parents' home. What a perfect coincidence! Just then, a police car happened to be patrolling by. It might have seen us pulling and pulled over to ask us what was going on. She actually said, "Police, I don't know him. He hit me. Get rid of him."
Hearing this, I said to the police, "Well, I don't know her. Watch carefully, I'm really hitting her now." So I jokingly slapped her. I dare say that if there had been a mosquito on her face at that time, even a slap wouldn't have killed that mosquito! The police recognized that we were a couple, but nothing happened. He copied down our ID cards and then left. I went home alone, while she went to my parents' house.
But she actually told my mom that no matter how much I drank, how much I hit her, and how much I made a fuss, the police came... At that time, my mom immediately called me and scolded me to the core. However, my mother also told her not to tell her parents.
A week later, I caught a cold. Because I was afraid of infecting her and the baby, I asked her to stay at her parents' place for a few days. One afternoon, my mom called me and asked if I had hit her again. She said that her in-laws called and said that she had run back to her parents' home after I called her... I was stunned at that moment. It turned out that after she got home, she still told her parents about the slap I gave her last week, which couldn't even kill a mosquito, and said that this wasn't the first time I had hit her...
Iv. Divorce
The next day, my mother-in-law called me out for dinner with her. No matter how I explained, she still sat aside without saying a word. My mother-in-law kept scolding me, saying that I had committed domestic violence. It's better for us to get divorced than to have a child anymore.
For the next few days, no matter what I said, explained or apologized to, she still remained silent. Insist on getting a divorce.
So, we went to the Civil Affairs Bureau to handle the divorce procedures. Just when we were about to sign, she said she didn't want to divorce anymore. So we walked out of the Civil Affairs Bureau again. But in the evening, she insisted on getting a divorce again...
Two days later, accompanied by my mother-in-law, we went to the Civil Affairs Bureau again and officially signed the divorce documents. On the day of her divorce, she was admitted to the hospital that had already been arranged to prepare for an induced abortion the next day. That night, she called me, saying she missed me and was very afraid of the operation, asking me to accompany her. I said it was no problem, but once I got there, I would take you home and remarry you right away. She refused.
A week later, she called me again and said she missed me. I asked her why she was so capricious. She said that after telling her mother about my hitting her, her mother insisted that we divorce and even said, "If you go back, I'll jump off a building."
It's been half a year since our divorce. We've been living a life where we don't seem like a couple and our infidelity doesn't seem like an affair. I didn't even tell my colleagues or friends about my divorce from her. I hope we can be together again one day. But this feeling was still very painful after all. In the end, I still decided to part ways with her. Sichuan Faneng Law Firm is dedicated to serving you.